He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
