the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
