she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
