can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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