But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
