He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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