when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
