miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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