dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
