none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
