No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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