ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
