I need help removing her.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
