She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
