Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
