Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
