let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Hippo gnu deer
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize