But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
