Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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