Your face is a jimmy john
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
