You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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