It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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