i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
