she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
