if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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