I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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