but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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