just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
