she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
