True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
