beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
