i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
