I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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