I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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