it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
