I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
