Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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