I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were destined to go to rehab together
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize