it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
