what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
