he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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