I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
