I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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