I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
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Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
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Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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