When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
