Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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