i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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