Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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