I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
