Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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