if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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