nut hugger
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
