i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
