This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
did i just pee glitter
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
