Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
