Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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