its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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