Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
